


oh the beautiful ones

by bebopesque



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Musician Semi, Shiratorizawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27325006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bebopesque/pseuds/bebopesque
Summary: the sky is blue. the grass is green. semi is in love with shirabu and the only thing he can do is sing about it. that’s just how it is.
Relationships: Kawanishi Taichi/Shirabu Kenjirou, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Unrequited SemiShira
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	oh the beautiful ones

**Author's Note:**

> for day 1 of haikyuuangstweek.  
> official prompts: longing, unrequited love  
> unofficial prompt: whatever prince song i was currently listening at times

For as long as Semi can remember, he has been writing and composing songs. In hindsight, it might have started as a form of relaxation after a long day of school and volleyball practice. He finished his first song during the second year of middle school, two days after he found out that his crush had been going out with someone else and one day after his team won a practice match with a rival school. The mixed emotions he felt resulted in a two and a half minute song that he often found himself coming back to from time to time.

It wasn’t until his fourth song that he began sharing it with other people. His parents, to his surprise, enjoy the songs he wrote. Semi overheard his father humming to the melody of the third song while they were watching TV together once and his mother singing the chorus of the second song while cooking in the kitchen. The response from his peers are equally positive and by the time he entered his third year of middle school, he had established a band with some of his friends.

However, by the time Semi was in the final months of his first high school year, he came to the realization that he has not finished a single song since he graduated middle school. He wants to blame it on the increasingly tiring volleyball practice and neverending schoolwork but even he knows that is not the case. There’s no difference in terms of volleyball practice for middle school and high school students of Shiratorizawa Academy, the only difference is the state of Semi’s creative mind.

Spring comes around, an influx of first year students joined the volleyball club, and Semi found himself in the starting team with Ushijima, Tendou, Reon, and Yamagata. Practice gets more manageable and soon Semi found himself helping the first year students more. While Tendou found a favorite in the form of 188 cm tall, aspiring middle blocker Kawanishi Taichi (“Really unfair how some people are just, you know, tall,” Yamagata muttered), Semi found himself gravitated towards Shirabu Kenjirou.

What started out as a simple admiration towards Shirabu’s volleyball skill (“How did he not get a sports scholarship??” Tendou once said after the two of them saw Shirabu successfully send a toss to Ushijima, out of all people) turned into something more. He begins to take notice of the little quirks that Shirabu did, the way Shirabu’s eyes lit up whenever he received an approval from either the coach or Ushijima, and the rare smile on Shirabu’s face that Semi once saw when the younger one was talking with the other first year players.

It wasn’t until he found himself sitting on his desk with a finished music sheet for the first time in months that he realized the gravity of his situation. He is in love- no, the word seems too tepid to describe his feelings. Love alone would not be able to get him out of his creative slump, Semi knows this. He is fervently, besottedly in love with Shirabu.

Things don't get easier after that, if anything he suddenly becomes more aware at how much Shirabu’s actions and slightest gesture affected his emotion. Whenever their fingers accidentally brushed during practice, Semi can feel his entire body heats up as a result and he found himself longing to touch those delicate fingers. More than once he had to stop himself from standing up from his seat and helped Shirabu tap his fingers before practice just so he could have a chance to hold onto his hands and today was no different. For a while, Semi watched as the younger boy struggled with the tape and he could see frustration written all over Shirabu’s face.

“Kawanishi. Help,”

And there it is. Being more aware of Shirabu’s existence means also being aware of Kawanishi’s existence. If Semi is the moon orbiting around Shirabu’s earth, then Kawanishi is the sun. While Semi gravitates towards Shirabu and always finds himself looking out for him, Shirabu’s eyes remain fixated on the tall first year.

It makes sense for one to be closer to people from the same year as them, Semi often thought to himself. Afterall, he himself is much closer to Tendou and Yamagata and the other second year players compared with other third or first year players. Yet, as he watched how Shirabu’s face lit up whenever Kawanishi was in the room, he found himself questioning his own judgement.

During the day, he found himself observing Shirabu and his interactions with Kawanishi. At night, he found himself sitting in his dorm room, finishing one song after another. All are written with one person in mind. He is officially out of his creative slump but it comes at the cost of his heart and inner peace.

* * *

_Baby, baby, baby, what's it gonna be?_

Time flies and soon Semi finds himself attending the last training camp before the school year ends. It’s the same routine as their usual practice during school days only this time, Semi is stuck being in the same room with Shirabu during both days and nights. The first night the team spent together sleeping in the same room was one of the hardest challenges Semi ever felt in his life. He woke up the earliest on the next day and directly went to have a cold shower, ignoring the cold spring weather and instead focusing on finding a way to survive the remainder of the training camp week.

“You okay?” Semi asked the younger setter. It was their third day of training camp and the coach is, surprisingly, more chill with the drills. Yet, even Semi knows that the coach being chill is not an excuse for anyone to suddenly stop practicing. That’s why Semi decided to stop his usual drills with Reon for a while and the two approached Shirabu who is currently taking a seat at the nearest bench.

Shirabu looked up and Semi found himself being, once again, lost in the younger boy’s eyes, as always. “Not sure. I think I didn’t land quite right while practicing jump serve earlier. My ankle is hurting,”

As if on cue, Semi found himself kneeling in front of Shirabu as his hands held the boy’s ankle carefully while his eyes inspected for possible sprain. He was relieved that Reon was there to bring him back to Earth by asking him if there’s anything wrong with Shirabu because Semi was sure that if he were to be left alone, he would just spend the remainder of the day hanging on to Shirabu.

“You should sit out for the remainder of the day. I’ll tell the coach what happened. He hates it when we practice while sick anyway,” Semi explained.

He can see the disappointed look on Shirabu’s face and was so close to pulling the younger one into an embrace as a means to comfort him when he saw the sudden change of expression on Shirabu’s face.

“You okay, Kenjirou?” Semi turned around and found Kawanishi and Tendou standing behind them.

Shirabu shook his head. “Sit here with me, Taichi. I’m not allowed to practice for the rest of the day,”

Semi wasn’t sure if it’s the fact that the boys are on first-name basis or if it’s the pleading tone he can detect in Shirabu’s voice as he talked to Kawanishi that makes him want to leave the gym. Nevertheless, he soon found himself finding an excuse to leave the place for a while. It suffocated him and he found himself only able to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he’s standing in front of the sink in the nearest toilet.

He can’t wait for training camp to be over.

_Baby, baby, baby, is it him or is it me?_

The training camp week finally comes to an end after what feels like months for Semi. Most of the third years who have graduated came during the night barbeque bonfire party set up by the coaches and teachers. The third years held an unofficial ceremony of handing the captain cap to Ushijima before, urging the tall second year to kneel down in order for the graduated third years to put a crown on his head, before pulling him into a hug.

It was a cheery occasion and Semi watched as his friends and teammates were having fun. He was about to grab his second serving of the grilled steak when he heard Oohira asking the others about Kawanishi and Shirabu as the two were supposed to be back with the drinks by now.

“Should we go check on them?” Yamagata asked, to no one in particular, and Semi noticed the reluctance (or was it annoyance?) on his face as he and Tendou are currently having fun with the fireworks.

“I’ll go, I’ll go,” Semi said, tucking both of his hands inside his jacket’s pocket. “Anything else you guys need?”

“More fireworks!” both Yamagata and Tendou yelled out in unison. Semi merely rolled his eyes in response before heading back inside in search of both of his juniors.

The gym was empty at first glance so Semi decided to head to the storage room since that is where they supposedly store all of the food and drinks for the training camp. He took a peek inside the room through the glass part of the door before entering with the intention of not alarming either of his juniors. Instead, he is the one who was surprised by the fact that he is currently witnessing Shirabu pulling Kawanishi into a kiss.

All of the sudden, Semi lost the strength to stand up and kneels down on the floor just by the side of the door. His heart feels like it’s about to burst into tiny pieces, his breath becomes unsteady, his vision is blurry, and he has a strong urge to throw up. He can’t do this. He can’t just enter the storage room and face both Kawanishi and Shirabu after what just happened, especially not in his current condition.

He was so preoccupied with trying to calm himself down, he didn’t realize that both of his juniors have walked out of the storage room and are kneeling down in front of him. He can feel a gentle touch on one side of his shoulder and when he looked up, he was staring into the eyes of Shirabu. Just as his touch is gentle, so does the expression that the younger boy currently has on his face right now.

“Semi-san, are you okay?” His voice is so gentle and Semi was so close to breaking down in tears and pulling Shirabu into a hug.

“No, not really. I think I eat something bad,” he managed to answer the question, praying to the Gods that neither Shirabu nor Kawanishi suspect him of accidentally peeping on them. “Reon and the others are looking for you guys,”

“Oh right, we were supposed to bring the drinks,” Shirabu muttered. “Taichi, I told you we shouldn’t spend too long mixing the drinks,”

“It's not my fault I got caught up with other things,” Kawanishi said matter-of-factly.

“Shut up,” Shirabu said, lightly shoving his friend, but Semi didn’t miss the way the young setter’s face reddened upon hearing the accusation.

Semi cleared his throat. “Let’s go get the drinks to the others,” was all he said before standing up and grabbing one of the trays of drinks.

“Are you sure you’re okay, _senpai_?” Shirabu asked, having picked up the pace and is now walking side by side with Semi.

“Yeah,” Semi lied.

_The beautiful ones, they hurt you every time._

* * *

Spring turns into summer, summer to winter, and soon Semi found himself as a third year student with too many songs written about one person and not enough medium to sing it out loud. And how could he? After he accidentally caught Shirabu and Kawanishi together during their last training camp, Semi knows that he has lost.

Every volleyball practice was a struggle for him. Concentrating is harder and he can feel his chest tightening every time he sees Shirabu and Kawanishi together. From the outside, his performance on the field remains the same to the eye of his coaches and teammates, he’s still the ultimate pinch server and steady setter that his team can rely on. On the inside, he’s as steady as a baby who just learned how to walk.

Band practice was an oasis for him. He stopped by as often as he can to the music room, even outside of the scheduled practice. He tries on all the different musical instruments available and sings as loud as he possibly can whenever he has the chance which only attracts more attention from his bandmates.

“What’s gotten into you?” his drummer asked him after they have just finished their Saturday practice.

“Just compensating for not being able to join practice during weekdays,” he replied and that’s half of the truth.

The keyboardist shook his head. “Don’t overdo your singing or else you might ruined your voice before our performance for the cultural festival,”

Semi let out a sigh. Their band has been performing for the school’s cultural festival since their first year and they have gained a significant amount of following from the student body, thanks to the fact that his bandmates often uploaded the songs he wrote to the internet. Sometimes, when Semi caught himself scrolling through his own Youtube channel, he wondered if the person he wrote the song for has ever listened to any of his songs.

He soon found himself in a discussion with his bandmates to decide which songs they should perform for their last cultural festival. The keyboardist suggested opening the performance with a song that Semi has written about the first time he realized he has feelings for Shirabu and Semi thinks that’s quite fitting for an intro. The drummer suggested another song that Semi wrote about Shirabu and after another round of discussion, the setlist was finished.

“Are you sure about that last song?” the bassist asked Semi as all of them walked out of the club room.

“What about it?”

His friend shrugged. “It’s just rare to see you want to perform songs that you didn’t write yourself. Also, it’s a western song,”

“I just think it’s fitting. We can change it though,”

“Nah, I believe in our frontman,” his friend tapped his shoulder lightly.

Somehow the news of Semi performing at the cultural festival has once again reached the ears of his teammates, no doubt thanks to Tendou and Yamagata. Semi let out an exasperated sigh as his teammates, mainly Tendou and Yamagata, made a plan to watch the performance with the rest of the volleyball team, as they do every year.

“Are you going to sing an original song again, Eita-kun?” Tendou asked while the two of them are taking a water break during practice.

Semi nodded, unable to answer with words as his mouth is still full of water, which Tendou took as a cue to ask again.

“Is it about that crush of yours?”

This time, Semi has finished swallowing all the water in his mouth, enabling him to answer the question properly.

“All my songs are about them,”

  
  


The cultural festival day comes around faster than Semi have expected. He spent the majority of the day practicing with his bandmate in the club room and only took a short break to have lunch because his bandmates insisted on him getting some fresh air before the show. He quickly bought a bento set from the nearest booth and finished it as fast as he can before going back to the club room, careful as to not let himself wander into a certain someone’s classroom.

It was almost 8 pm when Semi found him and his bandmates standing on the center stage of the festival. His guitar is strapped to his body and Semi found himself holding the mic. Not wasting any time to greet the crowd, he soon found himself immersed in the melody of the first song. It’s not until they finished their first performance that Semi introduced the band. Soon, he found himself singing the second and third song before speaking into the mic once again.

“The next song will be the last song for the night and the last song that we will perform together as students of this school,” he spoke, feeling the slight change in the atmosphere which urged him to scream out his last message instead of just saying it.

“Thank you for your support! This one's for you guys!”

The crowd cheered once again and Semi took a deep breath before giving instruction for his band mates to start their last song for the night. It’s the only song on their setlist for the night that he didn’t write himself. It’s the one song he always associated with his whole situation with both Shirabu and Kawanishi.

The lyrics come out like a series of questions that Semi already knows the answer for. Is it him or is it me? Do you want him or do you want me? Both are lyrics to the song he is currently singing and questions he always had at the back of his mind whenever he sees Shirabu looking at Kawanishi with the same kind of longing expression that Semi probably has when he himself is looking at Shirabu.

“Can I tell you a story?” he paused there. The music stopped for a while, as practiced, and the crowd fell into a silence. Semi found himself looking directly at Shirabu before saying, “Sometimes you lose,” in a hushed tone, earning him a loud cheer from the crowd.

The song continues and Semi doesn't stop anymore until it finally comes near the end. The music stopped playing once again as Semi sang the last line in a similar hushed tone as he did before.

“I want you. Yes, I do.”

The song ended, for real this time, and thus ending the whole set altogether. The band members took a bow as the sound of cheering and clapping from the audience enveloped the area. Semi found himself panting and out of breath as he took the mic for one last time. His eyes found Shirabu’s amongst the crowd and he cleared his throat before saying his thanks to the audience into the mic.

A sigh escaped his lips once he was off the stage, slowly blowing out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. An hour later, he finished helping his bandmates and stage crews with tidying up the equipment and soon found himself walking back towards the dormitory building with a heavy heart and a guitar case in one hand. He stopped himself before entering the building to take a look at the night sky. It’s bright, it’s beautiful, and it reminds him of Shirabu.

The sky is blue. The grass is green. Semi is in love with Shirabu and the only thing he can do is sing about it. That’s just how it is.

* * *

Bonus:

“Great show last night, Semi,” Reon said, as he patted Semi on the back. They have just finished their morning Saturday practice and the ones that have finished cleaning themselves in the shower are now huddling in the club room.

“Our very own superstar, Eita-ku!” Tendou said, loud as always, before putting his hand around Semi’s shoulder. “Seriously, I think that was your best performance ever!”

“You should just quit volleyball and do music professionally,” Yamagata said, giving him a thumbs up, before looking at Ushijima and say, “That’s a joke, by the way, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima nodded. “I agree with Yamagata on the professional part. You’re very talented,”

“Semi-senpai is so cool!” Goshiki said. His eyes are so bright as he said so that Semi can’t help but smile and start ruffling the first-year’s hair.

“Hey, Kenjirou, Taichi!” Tendou called out the two second years who have just entered the club room. “What do you guys think of Eita-kun’s performance last night?”

Semi found himself suddenly holding his breath as he waited for the response from both of the second years, careful as to not alarm anyone or raise suspicion.

“I enjoyed it. The first song was probably my favorite,” Shirabu said and Semi lets himself breathe normally once again.

“What about you, Taichi?”

This time, Semi found himself staring deep into Kawanishi’s deep brown eyes. He watched as the corner of Kawanishi’s lips turned upwards and eyes narrowed as the latter answered Tendou's question.

“I think the last song is the best one,”

At that moment, Semi is sure of two things. One, Shirabu is still clueless of his feelings for him. Two, the same cannot be said for Kawanishi. He flinched a little when Kawanishi tapped his shoulder before saying, “Hope you get over it soon, _senpai_ ,”

Semi let out another sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading. don't be shy to leave a kudo or comment. have a nice day, everyone.


End file.
